Visions Of The Future

I have this blog linked to my Facebook account and a few people commented on my posts regarding Katie's tantrum.  I received encouragement, assurance that this too will pass and that being a "mean" mommy was necessary in this case.  So I've been trying to figure out why that tantrum is dragging me down.  I think I have the answer.  It wasn't that tantrum that has me feeling blue, but the fact that I fear her never growing out of this stage.  She is a bull-headed, stubborn and very independent child.  She is very difficult to raise since she thinks that she knows best.  For example, the other day I had said to her, "Katie, I said 'no'."  She was doing something--don't remember what--and she won't stop, so I reminded her what I had just said.  Her response was, "I said 'yes'."  She has no problem arguing with Rick or I about whether she should brush her teeth, eat dinner, put on a sweater, go to sleep, etc., etc. and so on.  It wears me down because I am forever saying negative things, such as "no", "don't do that", "stop", etc., etc. and so on.  I have tried using positive words to say negative things, but sometimes "NO!" is the fastest thing that I can come up with when she is teetering on the top of her dresser.

Back to my blueness.  I have visions of a defiant 15-year old staying out til 2am in the morning and not giving a hoot that we told her to be home by 10pm.  She does not fear us or respect us--I should say respect me, she shows some respect for Rick.  Where have I erred or was she born this way?  Will she ever understand that the world does not revolve around her?  I truly believe that you cannot parent all children the same.  You have to adjust it to the child's personality, strength and weaknesses.  My parenting style is not what she needs nor is it what allows her to grow yet still be respectful.  It will be a lot easier for me to change since she has proven it is impossible for her to do so.  Perhaps I need that British TV nanny, Jo, to come and teach me.  At the very least, I should buy a book about raising strong-willed, independent children.  I have to nip this in the bud or all three of us are going to be miserable and I will have a 15-year old that I will love, but not like.

Mean Mommy

I realized that in the previous post I did not specifically tell you what set off Katie.  When we are in a store and if she is naughty, I put her in the shopping cart in the little seat/basket thingy.  She HATES the cart because I control where we go and when she sees something she likes, she cannot take it off of the shelf to examine it.  Furthermore, she associates being in the cart as being like a baby.  Anyway, that is what started the whole scene.  Then when I returned her stuff to the store's shelves, it further angered her.

I also previously posted that Katie was being meek and mild this afternoon.  By nighttime she was starting to express her anger with me; however, this time she was low key.  I had told her to stay in her room and then I caught her standing in the hallway shooting her toy, pink gun at me.  (I was in the living room.)  When I took the gun away she proceeded to "shoot" me with her microphone.  Finally she expressed her feelings when she said, "You're mean."  That didn't fly and Rick gave her a strong lecture.

Regardless, though she is not throwing tantrums, she is angry with me--the downside of standing my ground.  When I asked her what she did wrong in Walmart today, she said that she napped in the car.  She refused to recall or admit she threw the worse tantrum of her life.  I reminded her what happened and she was like, "Oh yeah."  I have also advised her that it will be a long time before she can go shopping with me.  She promised me that she would be a good girl; however, I told her that her promise did not matter because there were consequences for what she did today and she needed to face them.  It will crush her the first time I go to the store without her--and you all know how often I go to Walmart--but I have to stick to my guns and be a "mean" mommy.

Purple Faced

Today Katie and I were in Wal-mart's Garden Center.  I was checking out some tomato plants for my Topsy-Turvy tomato planter.  It worked out well last year and since Katie is a tomato lover, I will be using it again this year.  Anyway, there was a family in the Garden Center, which included two girls.  Next thing I know Katie is following them and goes back into the store.  I went after her and grabbed her hand and she proceeded to scream, "Don't hold my hand."  I let go and she took off running.  I had to sprint after her and grab her by her shirt.  I then picked Katie up and carried her back to the cart and told her she was going to have to sit in the basket.  She proceeded to fight me--kicking, hitting, wiggling and screaming.  Soon my glasses were knocked off of my face.  I struggled to get her in the cart and get her legs through the holes.  At this point, Katie's face is turning red from the full-out screaming.  I am sure people thought that I was either murdering her or kidnapping her.  I swung through the toy aisle and put back the book and puzzle that I was going to buy her.  There was no way in hell she was going to get anything from the store.  This set her off even more--I didn't think more was possible--and she started thrashing around in the card and kicking.  I bee-lined for the checkout while Katie continued with her tantrum.  At the checkout I discovered that I had a little unpainted birdhouse still in the cart that I was going to paint with Katie as a craft project.  I advised the cashier I was not buying it.  More thrashing and screaming from Katie.  Despite the huge embarrassment, I was not going to back down or give in.  The cashier was extremely sympathetic and told me in a very loud voice so that she could be heard over Katie, "She is going to make herself sick."  I just replied, "Yeah, she is" while I kept a peaceful smile on my face.  Katie stopped screaming and thrashing when we got outside but only because she started coughing and saying, "I'm going to puke."  I told her to puke.  At this point I didn't care.  I got her in the car, strapped her in her seat and she continue saying and crying, "I am going to puke."  Once again I told her, "Okay, puke."  She said she couldn't while in her car seat and she didn't want to get the carpet dirty.  I told her to wait until she got home then.  Of course she didn't like my answer and let me know.  I turned up the radio and headed home.  I noticed in the rear view mirror that she was holding her head.  Without a doubt she gave herself a headache with all that purple-face, screaming.  She finally lowered it to a whimper when she realized that I was ignoring her.  A few minutes later she fell asleep.  Once home, I carried her in the house, plopped her in her bed, gave her some milk and told her not to leave her bed.  I, in turn, headed out again.  (Rick was home.)  I still had numerous items that I needed to buy, such as milk and bread.  In addition, I needed to get away from her.  I was crushed by her tantrum and feeling really beat up.

Katie is now up and is acting very meek and mild.  She knows she screwed up royally.  As for myself, right now at this moment, I don't like being a mother.  I am so not looking forward to the future with this child and  more so than when she sneaked out of the hotel room.

Update, Shupdate

Finally, finally, finally got my test results from my globe-trotting doctor.  As you may recall, I had three biopsies done a few weeks ago.  All three of them came back as negative for precancerous and cancerous cells.  Now I can say that the pain of the uterine biopsy was worth knowing that everything is okay.  However, at the time my attitude was different.

We have had gorgeous weather.  Today it is supposed to be in the high 70's.  I have been busy with Weed Eradication 2010.  I can't figure out where all of the weeds have come from in the front yard.  They were not there last year.  I suspect that the numerous rabbits that used our front yard as their dinner spot may have had something to do with it.  They may have carried the seeds in their little round poop like the coyotes do with the mesquite beans.

Yesterday Katie and I had a MOPS play date at the Mall.  The Mall has a play area and Katie was able to jump and climb, something that she is not allowed to do at home.  Afterward we ate at Chik-fil-A with other MOPS moms.  For dessert--which is a misnomer since Katie barely ate her lunch--she got an ice cream cone.  She slipped on the floor as she carried her cone back to the table and some how the ice cream jumped out of the cone and splotted on the floor.  Katie assured everyone, "It's okay. It's okay."    That's Katie, making sure no one lost their head with panic.  The lady at the counter was nice enough to give her another cone free of charge.

Rick has been home, which has been a treat.  However, I believe that he is gone almost all of April and May is also filling up also.  My sisters will be visiting in May.  Rick will be in Vegas most of that time, so it will be a "girls' week" with the three of us and Katie.  Katie is looking forward to seeing her aunties.  Katie used to ask me everytime she saw a woman with long blonde hair if it was Auntie Linda.  She finally understands that Auntie Linda is in Florida so the chances of us running into her at a Texas Wal-mart are slim.  The other day when Katie and I were talking about our May visitors. I asked her if she remembered what her Auntie Linda looked like.  I know she remembers because she can always pick her out in pictures, but I wanted her to describe Linda to me.  Katie's response was, "She's gorgeous."  Leave it to a child to not use the mundane hair color, eye color descriptives.

I am embarrassed to say that Katie and I are off to Wal-mart, again.  I am also embarrassed to say that one of Katie's first words was "Wal-mart".  In my defense, we don't have a lot in this neck of the woods, so the local Wal-mart is the end-all and be-all.  Yesterday, we purchased a Disney Princess necklace for Katie and it did not make it into the bag, so we need to pick up a replacement.  Katie wasn't upset about it and made sure I did not panic.  Just like with the floor-bound ice cream, she reassured with her rational and calm attitude that all can be fixed or corrected.  That attitude will help her later in life.

Ciao!

America's Next Top Model

It's been about two years since I last watched America's Next Top Model; however, it apparently has stuck with Katie. I had my camera out because I needed to take pictures of Rick for his job. Katie wanted me to take her picture while Rick was getting ready. I obilged and she preceded to strike pose after pose. Below is her film for your enjoyment or laughter.

Highland MOPS Great Moms Walk and Carnival

It's time again for my MOPS group's Great Moms Walk and Carnival.  To learn more about this event and to donate to this wonderful organization, click on the below link.  Thank you for your support!

Donate to Highland MOPS Great Moms Walk

First Dentist Appointment

Katie had her first ever dentist appointment today.  Outside of his office, she found a leaf and told me that she was going to give it to the dentist.  However, the person who saw us first was the dental hygienist and not the dentist so she got the leaf.  Katie was quite excited about going to the dentist and Dr. Toogood and the dental hygienist did an outstanding job with her.  The hygienist explained all of the instruments to Katie and Dr. Toogood made her memorize three rules, which the first was to have fun; second, he would stop if she said it hurt; and third, to keep her hands by her sides.  Katie did fantastic.  She gladly opened her mouth for the dentist and did everything he told her to do.  After the exam, Dr. Toogood said Katie's teeth were in fantastic shape, no cavities and whatever we were doing was certainly working.  He also commented that her wide-spaced teeth are a positive because adult teeth are normally larger and the chance of her having a crowded mouth was pretty low.  Also, with the wide spaces, she is less likely to get cavities because it is easy to brush in between her teeth.  The only potential problem would be if Katie's adult teeth are small, then she would need braces to close the gaps.  Dr. Toogood said she didn't need a cleaning today, but wants to see her in six months and she will get a cleaning at that time.  He did not do x-rays since there was no need at this time to do them.  I am so grateful that Katie's first trip to the dentist was a positive one, unlike my first trip.  The dentist I had for the first years of my life did not like being a dentist--he's parents pushed him into the career--and he apparently was nipping from the bottle all day long.  Also, he did not use novacaine.

By the way, did I mention that we got cameras for our laptops and signed up for Skype?  It has been great to talk and see Rick while he is away.  Smarty-farty Katie already knows how to answer a Skype call and loves video talking to her daddy, cousins and grandparents.


For my Facebook friends, I actually don't write a note everyday in Facebook.  The posts export from my blog.  So if you would like to read the posts in their original form go to http://cornithwest.blogspot.com


As usual, I have included a daily picture for Rick in this blog post. Her cousins have oodles of dress-up clothes and accessories at their summer home.  Katie immediately found the toter and decked herself out.  Tell later....ciao!

Vacation In A Vacation

I already blogged about Katie's major no-no while we were in Philadelphia and as promised here is a short recap of our weekend.  This is a lengthy and perhaps boring post, but I am doing it more for myself and for Katie to read years down the road.  If you want, you can skip to the bottom for the pictures.

Katie and I arrived in Philly Wednesday night, which was the night of Katie's escape.  Thursday Rick was at the client site and Katie and I hung around the hotel.  It was bitter cold outside so we did not attempt to walk to the Plymouth Meeting Mall.  Thursday night we drove north of Philly to have dinner with two of Rick's co-workers and their two sons.  We ate at the Olive Garden and we truly enjoyed the conversation and meal.  Another bonus was that Katie was well-behaved because she was still remorseful about her escapade.  Rick also took me through his old stomping grounds (he was born and raised north of Philly) and I got to see the two buildings where his dad used to have automotive repair shops.  It was also neat to see all of the old, colonial homes some of which have been around since the 1700's.  (Rick's brother and sister-in-law, Keith and Diane, have one of those houses, but I don't know exactly when it was built.)  There is such rich history of the beginning of this country in Pennsylvania.  Unfortunately, we didn't get a chance to see Valley Forge or even downtown Philly.  Perhaps on our next trip when I also want to see the houses in which Rick grew up, his grandmother's house, as well as the homes his grandfather built.

Friday Rick was at the client site again and Katie and I walked over to the mall.  It was warmer Friday--perhaps in the 50's--but there was still that snappish cold in the air.  The Plymouth Meeting Mall is a larger mall and one of the anchor stores was a Macy's.  It also had a two tiered carousel about which Katie was so excited.  She ended up riding it five times and I had to drag her away from it.  The second time she rode, she chose the upper tier and I sat on a bench by her chosen horse.  I actually got nauseous from just going around and around.  My purchases at the mall consisted of cologne for Rick, sunglasses for Rick, an outfit for Katie from Gymboree and a book for Katie from Borders.  The only thing that I purchased for myself was a soda.  After Rick got "home" we headed to Keith and Diane's, which is north of Philly.  Katie was so jazzed to see her cousins and pretty much kicked Rick and I to the curb.  She was in her glory and decided she didn't need us anymore.

After chit-chatting for a bit, the eight of us in two cars headed to The Shore (Brigatine Beach), but we first stopped for dinner at a local pizzeria.  Katie was more interested in coloring on her place mat than eating, but she did have some tomatoes.  To get to Keith and Diane's summer home, we had to go by Atlantic City which was the first time I had seen that city.  It definitely looked like a mini Vegas.  I don't recall what time we arrived, but it was late and I was beat.  Katie slept in her cousins' room and was still happy as a clam.  No Momma and Daddy bossing her around.  Rick commented that going to The Shore was like a vacation in a vacation for Katie and I.

Saturday Keith made breakfast before we headed out to the beach.  During off season you do not need a pass to be on the beach and you can drive your vehicle on the beach.  After a short tour of the island, which Katie slept through, we found a spot on the beach.  It was windy and the air was cold coming off of the ocean, so I had Katie put on a winter hat and two pairs of pants.  Diane broke out the beach toys--shovels, pails, sand molds--and the kids got busy excavating the beach.  I built a sand castle and Katie, not content with just one, proceeded to build a whole sub-division of castles.  One of Katie's cousins, Lindsay, surmised that since that wind blew horizontally and not vertically, if she dug a deep hole Katie and she could sit in it and be out of the wind.  It was interesting how most of the homes in that area all look similar.  They are typically two stories with balconies on the front of the houses.  Again, like a fool I did not take pictures of the houses.

After the beach, we headed into Atlantic City for lunch.  Atlantic City is so strange.  Here you have these billion dollar hotels and abandoned buildings existing next to each other.  The boardwalk was interesting and packed.  Apparently there was some type of sporting event going on that weekend and the waiting times at restaurants were insane.  At the Rain Forest Cafe it was 1 1/2 hrs.  We finally settled on the buffet at Caesar's.  Once again Katie didn't have much of an appetite; however, we discovered why the previous night while brushing her teeth.  She had a canker sore.  At the buffet she ate mashed potatoes and ice cream.  After lunch we watched the light show in the mall and walked a bit on the board walk.  By this time it was evening and time to head back to the summer house.  Another thing we did Saturday was put Katie's footprints on the summer house's door of shame.  The door of shame is a closet door in the living room where they measure the girls and also where their daughters' footprints are recorded.  Katie liked getting paint on her feet and walking on the door--Keith took it off of the hinges--and here's hoping that she does not try it at home.  Foolishly I did not take a picture of the door once it was back up.

Sunday, we all headed back to Philly.  Katie rode with her cousins, so Rick and I had some alone time.  Diane had bought tickets to an afternoon showing of Alice In Wonderland.  Rick and I took quick showers at the hotel before heading back to north of Philly.  Katie tried to hide from us when we all met up at the movie theater and Keith said Katie was a great kid and they had no problems with her, which is typical of Katie when she is away from us.  With us she is a whiney-miney and a handful.  Anyway, I loved the movie.  After the movie, we took one of the girls, Ally, with us back to the hotel and Katie stayed with her other two cousins.  We had planned a swim party get-together for that evening, which included Keith and Diane, their three girls, Joe who works at the client site Rick is visiting, Rick's cousin Cakie and her husband and two daughters.  We ordered pizza, changed into our suits and headed down to the pool.  Rick spent the entire time in the water playing with Katie and his nieces--none of the other men suited up for the pool.  Katie especially enjoyed riding on Rick's back as he swam, as did the other three girls.  Rick worked with Katie on her swimming, but she still cannot do it on her own.  It looks like formal lessons are in order.  Katie had two traumas while at the pool.  First she tripped by the hot tub and banged her shin up pretty good, and second she slipped off of the pool's steps and tumbled into the water.  Rick was right next to her and scooped her up.  Katie finally bid adieu to her cousins and slept like a log that night.

Monday afternoon Katie and I flew back home.  Our flights were relatively uneventful, which is how I like it.  It was strange flying this time because we were in coach.  We typically fly in first class, but Rick wasn't with us and he was short a few miles for first class tickets for Katie and I.  While talking to Rick on the phone prior to flying out to Philly, I told him that I was not looking forward to flying and the embarrassing truth was that I didn't want to fly coach.  (Don't I sound like a pretentious snob?!)  That man spoils me.

Now for the photos.

Katie and Ally

Katie hugging Courtney with Diane in the background.

Katie hugging her Aunt Diane with Rick in the background and Courtney standing by.

Katie testing out the Door of Shame before her paint walk.

Keith putting paint on Katie's feet while Rick keeps her suspended in air.

Katie digging at the beach

Katie with her sand castle sub-division.

The man that spoils me to no end.

Katie, me and Lindsay playing in the sand.

Dyson, who is a Corgi and still a pup.  It's actually Keith's dog.  He needed another male in the house since he is outnumbered 4 to 1.

Katie sitting in the wind shelter hole that Lindsay dug.

In Atlantic City when we were walking back to our vehicle, we found this old horse carriage in a parking garage.  From left:  Ally, Katie, Lindsay and Courtney.

Katie with Ally.  It was way past Katie's bedtime, but she had an important page to color.

Well, that's the recap.  It was so refreshing to get away for a few days.  Despite Katie leaving the hotel room, it was a good weekend.  Katie got to spend time with her cousins which is very important to Rick and I.  Ciao and good night.

Rick's Daily Pic

Since Rick is still in Philly, I best post a daily picture for him.  Below is one of my favorites from the weekend.  It is Rick and Katie on the beach in New Jersey.

The next picture is the only one that has Katie with all three of her cousins, who are sisters.  It was windy and chilly that day so that is why Katie is dressed for winter on the beach.

The Incident

Katie and I arrived back home last night from a long weekend in Philadelphia.  Rick is there for two weeks, so we joined him for a few days.  I took pictures and we did quite a bit, but will share those later.  For now I will share how our weekend started.

Katie and I arrived Wednesday evening.  Rick picked us up from the Philly airport and we joined Rick at his hotel.  Rick and I were dead tired, but we watched a little TV in the living room--it was a two room suite--before we joined Katie in the two-bedded bedroom.  Katie was still awake, but in her bed.  We fell asleep only to be jarred out of our sleep by the ringing telephone at 12:45 am.  Rick answered and it was the front desk inquiring if we had a blonde-haired child staying with us.  Rick looked at the empty bed next to ours and answered, "Yes."  He was told the child was running around on the fifth floor, our floor.  We jumped out of bed; Rick grabbed his robe and headed out the door.  The night manager was down the hallway with Katie.

Katie was no longer in her pajamas, but was in day time clothes--shirt, pants, socks and shoes, which by the way all matched.  Rick was so angry at her that he plopped her in bed, spanked her and then walked out of the room.  He was so angry he could not even speak.  I proceeded to cry and when I went into the bathroom that is when I saw hair all over the bathroom floor.  Prior to going out, she cut her hair.  Rick spoke to the front desk to try to piece together her late night escapade.  Best we can figure is that after getting fully dressed in the dark, she went into the bathroom where she found Rick's beard-trimming scissors and proceeded with her haircut.  She then went into the living room and moved the desk chair over to the door; flipped the security latch; moved the chair out of the way, again all in the dark, and went out to explore the hotel.  The hotel is atrium styled, so each floor is open to the inside of the hotel.  The front desk discovered her because she was at the railing and calling out "Hello!"

When Rick found out Katie had cut her hair, he threatened to shave her head bald since this is the third time that she has cut her hair.  And this time, she slaughtered it, as you can see below.  She cut both sides, but a small portion of the middle in the back she left alone and only because she couldn't easily reach it.  Anyway,   I had no choice but to cut all of her hair up to her shoulders and her right side still looks awful.  If I was to truly even it out, I would have to cut it up to her ear lobes.  After I attempted to fix her hair, she told me, "It's just like yours Momma."  She liked her shorter hair until I told her she didn't look like a Disney Princess anymore--I know, I am a mean Momma.  However, she bounced back by telling me that her hair would grow.

Here is Katie with her new 'do.  This picture was taken at The Shore, which is the area north of Atlantic City, New Jersey or Brigatine Beach where my brother-in-law and sister-in-law have a second/beach home. 

To make sure Katie did not attempt another late night stroll, Rick bought wire tires and wire cutters from Lowe's and he would wire-tire the security latch each night.  We also put the scissors on the top shelf of the closet.  Katie knew she did a huge no-no and Friday morning the first thing she told Rick when she woke up was, "Daddy I didn't get out."

People tell us we will laugh at this some day, but I don't know.  After Rick and I calmed down, we thanked God that nothing happened to her.  She could have been grabbed; fallen over the railing or left the hotel since she knows how to operate an elevator. Also, Rick said for a split second after the front desk called, the thought that ran through his head was, "Isn't this not supposed to happen for another 12 years?  You know, the late night calls of  'Do you know where your daughter is?'"  This incident is by far the scariest and worse thing that Katie has ever done.  We won't forget it any time soon and Katie has been towing the line because she realizes she royally messed up.

Like I wrote, I will write more about our vacation to Philly, as well as our stay at The Shore and our visit to Atlantic City later.

Fancy Outdoor Games

Katie and I are outside--gotta love a home wireless network.  A few minutes ago she requested that I watch her trick.  She stands about 6' away from the tree that is in the center of our front yard.  She throws her ball at the tree; it rebounds off of the trunk and about takes her head off as it boomerangs back to her.  Then she laughs.  I asked her what her trick was called. She replied, "Throw Ball."  I say it's called "Let's See If I Can Smack Myself in The Head With A Ball."