Visions Of The Future

I have this blog linked to my Facebook account and a few people commented on my posts regarding Katie's tantrum.  I received encouragement, assurance that this too will pass and that being a "mean" mommy was necessary in this case.  So I've been trying to figure out why that tantrum is dragging me down.  I think I have the answer.  It wasn't that tantrum that has me feeling blue, but the fact that I fear her never growing out of this stage.  She is a bull-headed, stubborn and very independent child.  She is very difficult to raise since she thinks that she knows best.  For example, the other day I had said to her, "Katie, I said 'no'."  She was doing something--don't remember what--and she won't stop, so I reminded her what I had just said.  Her response was, "I said 'yes'."  She has no problem arguing with Rick or I about whether she should brush her teeth, eat dinner, put on a sweater, go to sleep, etc., etc. and so on.  It wears me down because I am forever saying negative things, such as "no", "don't do that", "stop", etc., etc. and so on.  I have tried using positive words to say negative things, but sometimes "NO!" is the fastest thing that I can come up with when she is teetering on the top of her dresser.

Back to my blueness.  I have visions of a defiant 15-year old staying out til 2am in the morning and not giving a hoot that we told her to be home by 10pm.  She does not fear us or respect us--I should say respect me, she shows some respect for Rick.  Where have I erred or was she born this way?  Will she ever understand that the world does not revolve around her?  I truly believe that you cannot parent all children the same.  You have to adjust it to the child's personality, strength and weaknesses.  My parenting style is not what she needs nor is it what allows her to grow yet still be respectful.  It will be a lot easier for me to change since she has proven it is impossible for her to do so.  Perhaps I need that British TV nanny, Jo, to come and teach me.  At the very least, I should buy a book about raising strong-willed, independent children.  I have to nip this in the bud or all three of us are going to be miserable and I will have a 15-year old that I will love, but not like.

Mean Mommy

I realized that in the previous post I did not specifically tell you what set off Katie.  When we are in a store and if she is naughty, I put her in the shopping cart in the little seat/basket thingy.  She HATES the cart because I control where we go and when she sees something she likes, she cannot take it off of the shelf to examine it.  Furthermore, she associates being in the cart as being like a baby.  Anyway, that is what started the whole scene.  Then when I returned her stuff to the store's shelves, it further angered her.

I also previously posted that Katie was being meek and mild this afternoon.  By nighttime she was starting to express her anger with me; however, this time she was low key.  I had told her to stay in her room and then I caught her standing in the hallway shooting her toy, pink gun at me.  (I was in the living room.)  When I took the gun away she proceeded to "shoot" me with her microphone.  Finally she expressed her feelings when she said, "You're mean."  That didn't fly and Rick gave her a strong lecture.

Regardless, though she is not throwing tantrums, she is angry with me--the downside of standing my ground.  When I asked her what she did wrong in Walmart today, she said that she napped in the car.  She refused to recall or admit she threw the worse tantrum of her life.  I reminded her what happened and she was like, "Oh yeah."  I have also advised her that it will be a long time before she can go shopping with me.  She promised me that she would be a good girl; however, I told her that her promise did not matter because there were consequences for what she did today and she needed to face them.  It will crush her the first time I go to the store without her--and you all know how often I go to Walmart--but I have to stick to my guns and be a "mean" mommy.

Purple Faced

Today Katie and I were in Wal-mart's Garden Center.  I was checking out some tomato plants for my Topsy-Turvy tomato planter.  It worked out well last year and since Katie is a tomato lover, I will be using it again this year.  Anyway, there was a family in the Garden Center, which included two girls.  Next thing I know Katie is following them and goes back into the store.  I went after her and grabbed her hand and she proceeded to scream, "Don't hold my hand."  I let go and she took off running.  I had to sprint after her and grab her by her shirt.  I then picked Katie up and carried her back to the cart and told her she was going to have to sit in the basket.  She proceeded to fight me--kicking, hitting, wiggling and screaming.  Soon my glasses were knocked off of my face.  I struggled to get her in the cart and get her legs through the holes.  At this point, Katie's face is turning red from the full-out screaming.  I am sure people thought that I was either murdering her or kidnapping her.  I swung through the toy aisle and put back the book and puzzle that I was going to buy her.  There was no way in hell she was going to get anything from the store.  This set her off even more--I didn't think more was possible--and she started thrashing around in the card and kicking.  I bee-lined for the checkout while Katie continued with her tantrum.  At the checkout I discovered that I had a little unpainted birdhouse still in the cart that I was going to paint with Katie as a craft project.  I advised the cashier I was not buying it.  More thrashing and screaming from Katie.  Despite the huge embarrassment, I was not going to back down or give in.  The cashier was extremely sympathetic and told me in a very loud voice so that she could be heard over Katie, "She is going to make herself sick."  I just replied, "Yeah, she is" while I kept a peaceful smile on my face.  Katie stopped screaming and thrashing when we got outside but only because she started coughing and saying, "I'm going to puke."  I told her to puke.  At this point I didn't care.  I got her in the car, strapped her in her seat and she continue saying and crying, "I am going to puke."  Once again I told her, "Okay, puke."  She said she couldn't while in her car seat and she didn't want to get the carpet dirty.  I told her to wait until she got home then.  Of course she didn't like my answer and let me know.  I turned up the radio and headed home.  I noticed in the rear view mirror that she was holding her head.  Without a doubt she gave herself a headache with all that purple-face, screaming.  She finally lowered it to a whimper when she realized that I was ignoring her.  A few minutes later she fell asleep.  Once home, I carried her in the house, plopped her in her bed, gave her some milk and told her not to leave her bed.  I, in turn, headed out again.  (Rick was home.)  I still had numerous items that I needed to buy, such as milk and bread.  In addition, I needed to get away from her.  I was crushed by her tantrum and feeling really beat up.

Katie is now up and is acting very meek and mild.  She knows she screwed up royally.  As for myself, right now at this moment, I don't like being a mother.  I am so not looking forward to the future with this child and  more so than when she sneaked out of the hotel room.

Update, Shupdate

Finally, finally, finally got my test results from my globe-trotting doctor.  As you may recall, I had three biopsies done a few weeks ago.  All three of them came back as negative for precancerous and cancerous cells.  Now I can say that the pain of the uterine biopsy was worth knowing that everything is okay.  However, at the time my attitude was different.

We have had gorgeous weather.  Today it is supposed to be in the high 70's.  I have been busy with Weed Eradication 2010.  I can't figure out where all of the weeds have come from in the front yard.  They were not there last year.  I suspect that the numerous rabbits that used our front yard as their dinner spot may have had something to do with it.  They may have carried the seeds in their little round poop like the coyotes do with the mesquite beans.

Yesterday Katie and I had a MOPS play date at the Mall.  The Mall has a play area and Katie was able to jump and climb, something that she is not allowed to do at home.  Afterward we ate at Chik-fil-A with other MOPS moms.  For dessert--which is a misnomer since Katie barely ate her lunch--she got an ice cream cone.  She slipped on the floor as she carried her cone back to the table and some how the ice cream jumped out of the cone and splotted on the floor.  Katie assured everyone, "It's okay. It's okay."    That's Katie, making sure no one lost their head with panic.  The lady at the counter was nice enough to give her another cone free of charge.

Rick has been home, which has been a treat.  However, I believe that he is gone almost all of April and May is also filling up also.  My sisters will be visiting in May.  Rick will be in Vegas most of that time, so it will be a "girls' week" with the three of us and Katie.  Katie is looking forward to seeing her aunties.  Katie used to ask me everytime she saw a woman with long blonde hair if it was Auntie Linda.  She finally understands that Auntie Linda is in Florida so the chances of us running into her at a Texas Wal-mart are slim.  The other day when Katie and I were talking about our May visitors. I asked her if she remembered what her Auntie Linda looked like.  I know she remembers because she can always pick her out in pictures, but I wanted her to describe Linda to me.  Katie's response was, "She's gorgeous."  Leave it to a child to not use the mundane hair color, eye color descriptives.

I am embarrassed to say that Katie and I are off to Wal-mart, again.  I am also embarrassed to say that one of Katie's first words was "Wal-mart".  In my defense, we don't have a lot in this neck of the woods, so the local Wal-mart is the end-all and be-all.  Yesterday, we purchased a Disney Princess necklace for Katie and it did not make it into the bag, so we need to pick up a replacement.  Katie wasn't upset about it and made sure I did not panic.  Just like with the floor-bound ice cream, she reassured with her rational and calm attitude that all can be fixed or corrected.  That attitude will help her later in life.

Ciao!

America's Next Top Model

It's been about two years since I last watched America's Next Top Model; however, it apparently has stuck with Katie. I had my camera out because I needed to take pictures of Rick for his job. Katie wanted me to take her picture while Rick was getting ready. I obilged and she preceded to strike pose after pose. Below is her film for your enjoyment or laughter.

Highland MOPS Great Moms Walk and Carnival

It's time again for my MOPS group's Great Moms Walk and Carnival.  To learn more about this event and to donate to this wonderful organization, click on the below link.  Thank you for your support!

Donate to Highland MOPS Great Moms Walk

First Dentist Appointment

Katie had her first ever dentist appointment today.  Outside of his office, she found a leaf and told me that she was going to give it to the dentist.  However, the person who saw us first was the dental hygienist and not the dentist so she got the leaf.  Katie was quite excited about going to the dentist and Dr. Toogood and the dental hygienist did an outstanding job with her.  The hygienist explained all of the instruments to Katie and Dr. Toogood made her memorize three rules, which the first was to have fun; second, he would stop if she said it hurt; and third, to keep her hands by her sides.  Katie did fantastic.  She gladly opened her mouth for the dentist and did everything he told her to do.  After the exam, Dr. Toogood said Katie's teeth were in fantastic shape, no cavities and whatever we were doing was certainly working.  He also commented that her wide-spaced teeth are a positive because adult teeth are normally larger and the chance of her having a crowded mouth was pretty low.  Also, with the wide spaces, she is less likely to get cavities because it is easy to brush in between her teeth.  The only potential problem would be if Katie's adult teeth are small, then she would need braces to close the gaps.  Dr. Toogood said she didn't need a cleaning today, but wants to see her in six months and she will get a cleaning at that time.  He did not do x-rays since there was no need at this time to do them.  I am so grateful that Katie's first trip to the dentist was a positive one, unlike my first trip.  The dentist I had for the first years of my life did not like being a dentist--he's parents pushed him into the career--and he apparently was nipping from the bottle all day long.  Also, he did not use novacaine.

By the way, did I mention that we got cameras for our laptops and signed up for Skype?  It has been great to talk and see Rick while he is away.  Smarty-farty Katie already knows how to answer a Skype call and loves video talking to her daddy, cousins and grandparents.


For my Facebook friends, I actually don't write a note everyday in Facebook.  The posts export from my blog.  So if you would like to read the posts in their original form go to http://cornithwest.blogspot.com


As usual, I have included a daily picture for Rick in this blog post. Her cousins have oodles of dress-up clothes and accessories at their summer home.  Katie immediately found the toter and decked herself out.  Tell later....ciao!