He Was Just A Man

Today I turned on the Headline News Channel to get an update on Amanda Knox. What I found instead was live coverage of Dr. Conrad Murray's involuntary manslaughter trial. (Conrad Murray was Michael Jackson's personal physician and is accused of overdosing the entertainer.) Unfortunately, I got sucked into the trial and the testimony of his four girlfriends. I am not writing this to complain that I wasted two hours on sensational TV, but because now I am in a reflective, sad frame of mind.

I am not a fan of Michael Jackson's work. His music is not my style. The only reason I liked "Beat It" was because of Eddie Van Halen's work on the song. However, regardless of my music preference, I did admire Michael Jackson for the artist that he was. Talented? Absolutely. He was one of those proverbial outside-the-box thinkers and he was mesmerizing when he danced. In the mid 80s he started to morph into a strange individual or that is what the media tells us. In the last years, we were told he was down right odd. I don't know any of this because I never met the man. However, people who knew Michael Jackson described him as a sweet, good, loving, caring, compassionate person. Back to my point, when Michael Jackson died, it was shocking to me, but it didn't rock my world like it did for his ardent fans. However, today something changed.

I won't go into the nitty-gritty details of what was revealed by today's witnesses, but it looks like Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's private physician, may have caused Michael Jackson's death. In a nutshell, Dr. Murray administered propofol to his client all though he wasn't forthcoming with the fact immediately following Michael Jackson's death and per the autopsy, the cause of Michael Jackson's death was propofol intoxication. Propofol is a hypnotic drug that is primarily used as a general anesthesia for surgery.

I have been pondering what has me melancholy, sad, depressed. As I mentioned, I wasn't an ardent fan of Michael Jackson, so is this dark feeling because of the ineptness of his doctor? Is it because Thriller came out the year I graduated high school and the songs on that album bring up memories of my youth? Is it because his death demonstrates humanity at its worse? Is it because it shows how narcissistic we have become? Is it a combination of those things? Yes, it is a combination, but actually mostly it is because when you strip away the mega-watt celebrity light bulb around Michael Jackson he was just a man who was robbed of the rest of his life.

No Rhyme or Reason

Again I am questioning, "Why?"  A former MOPS member's husband succumbed to cancer Thursday evening.  He was 32 years old.  He leaves behind a devoted wife and a 3 year old daughter.  I guess I am not really asking, "Why?" as much as, "Why am I asking 'why?'?"  In my old age I have come to the conclusion that life is life and death is part of it.  There is no rhyme or reason.  Sometimes a young wife and daughter remain and sometimes you are the last to go.  I guess it is the young age that causes me pause.  On occasion I think of what it will be like when I am 70 years old or think about Katie being 20 years old, then for a split second it occurs to me it is always possible that either or both of us could be gone before then.  It really drives home the point of living for the day because tomorrow is a weak promise.